He’s arrogant, opinionated and seldom bothers with social niceties. He seems to take sadistic pleasure in aggravating his biggest threats and often the most important people in the room. When faced with a lose-lose proposition, he sabotages his side of the equation bad enough to cast suspicion on the integrity of his opposition. He’s been referred to as Muhammad Ali who survives more on reputation than skill in the latter half of his career. He’s been married five times, the last of which left him when she found him having sex with the caterer, three hours after the ceremony. He’s also the founding partner of one of the most successful firms on Fleet Street and has a self-proclaimed win-loss record of 6043-0. His most famous quote consists only of his full name. He is my hero.
The courtroom packed with people seated on wooden benches. The mood, suitably sombre as the two sides present their argument to the twelve individuals saddled with the task of deciding in favour of one of them. The prosecution rests after making an impassioned plea, trying to sew up every loophole. Counsel for the defence starts by raising the not-uncommon arguments about reasonal doubt, then proceeds to unbutton his trousers, unhook his suspenders and moons the jury albeit veiled in white boxers with a giant bullseye as he finishes his point about the concept of CYA (cover your ass).
In his own words..
“Waive reading Judge. And ask that these ridiculous charges be dismissed on the grounds of ridiculousness.’‘
”Alan, I have trouble with this sort of subject matter…It’s my father. Sometimes he wore dresses. He called it a kilt and sang all those Scottish songs, but we knew.”
“Last name: Crane…First name: Denny…Not guilty…over and out!”