From smack-bang in the middle of the bell curve


In sports, work on December 1, 2006 at 10:40 am

Things have to be seriously wrong with the world if my blog shows only three installments of its customary drivel for all of the month of November. It’d be cool if I could break my silence with a “Eureka” about deep insight into the metaphysical or such other esoteric concepts. Sadly, I have nothing but being a ping-pong ball with the opposite ends of the table in two cities as my reason. Trooping into the client’s office every weekday, plonking yourself in a conference room, meeting all and sundry, shadowing some as they go about their tasks (imagine having someone looking over shoulder, notepad in hand, asking questions, making notes. I’d be lead to man-handling someone doing that to me). Meetings…consensus…god how i hate that word! the spawn of the devil. the deepest subterranean root-cause of all thats wrong. Think I’m being melodramatic? Try putting a bunch of managers into a room and getting them to agree on the colour the office walls should be painted with. Damned if you don’t come out of the room with a psyche ‘f***in’ delic rainbow on your notepad!
In other news, the Indian team’s performance/selection got more newsprint than the Rwanda genocide ever did but then, thats perfectly logical for a country that tacks its sense of pride and achievement onto a bunch of 14 individuals weighed down by expectations and also the logos sewn onto their equipment. Its amusing how everyone and their uncle has an opinion (hence this one) about how to fix the slide. With news channels announcing Sourav’s inclusion a day in advance, you wonder if the selectors actually even debated the player who’s technique makes him unsuitable for anything but a sandpit as far as bounce goes. Band-aid fixes et al, we all shall wait with bated breath to expect dramatic turnarounds conveniently ignoring the following:
1. Our performance in South Africa is dismal for a reason; we can’t play movement. Not rocket science that but contrary to popular opinion, our performance in the 2003 world cup was not an instance of our warriors mastering the conditions. God bless Dr. Ali Bacher for having read “Fortune at the bottom of the pyramid” and having the life squeezed out of all wickets to provide featherbeds for the purpose of providing employment to ‘has-been’ actresses (read Mandira Bedi) and tarot card readers
2. Our cricketers have never had to correct this deficiency in their technique. Reason – we play over 70% of our games at home/home-like conditions. Embarassing failures in South Africa are camouflaged by ‘scintillating come-backs’ in tournaments involving the likes of Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, England etc (Yuvraj Singh must be thanking his stars for his timely injury)
It ain’t the cricketers’ fault though that they go through their domestic lives thinking that anything green can only be an outfield and the first time they see the ball zip past chest height is on an international tour match. Of course the board can’t be held responsible either, there are broadcasting rights to be auctioned, official team sponsors to be chosen. Not for them the trivialities of looking into the preparation of the most crucial 22 yards in the sport, given that the odd sprinkling of grass might actually encourage a young kid somewhere to want to knock the batsman’s head off rather than make a beeline for the batting crease. No, we wouldn’t want a crop of searing quick fast bowlers to complicate matters of selection even more, would we. As for now, the poor over-marketed sods in SA can only hope…
  1. You are very un-likable at times.. on your blog!!!

  2. No he isn’t. He’s just honest about his opinions and doesn’t sugar coat them. Why should he have to?

  3. anon 1: you’re wrong there..i’m unlikable even in person :)anon 2: 🙂

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