From smack-bang in the middle of the bell curve

what’s that smell?

In work on August 2, 2006 at 8:54 pm

the fair question would be “who’s that smell?!” yeah…that’s what probably caused the president of the United States (Harrison Ford, yeah the real one..not Dubya) to toss the evil dude(he spoke english with a middle-eastern accent…duh!) off Airforce One after he said “Get off my plane…” So here you are, about 170 odd of you…packed like sardines in a can…the flight’s delayed by the regulation 15 mins (they might as well write “departure time: 20.05 std deviation 15 mins”), been in the air for an hour during which everyone’s partaken of dinner (the only reason am not making fun of the meal is the recall of the pathetic bags of peanuts/pretzels that airlines in the US hurl at you)…and then …yup…you guessed it…someone farts. and you realize how helpless you truly are…strapped into the window seat next to a guy who really should be paying for two tickets considering the amount of space the two of them occupy…yeah..him and his protruding belly! am sure it must be the kind of thing they teach in the advanced levels of ‘Torture 601’ in the clandestine training rooms of the KGB or the Mossad or such arcane (but equally ruthless) organizations. your primeval survival instincts kick in and you press your face to the ‘window’ for some fresh air but then the plexi-glass presses back mockingly. so you do nothing but let it all dissipate into the air to be regurgitated by the air conditioning. finally you land, and you wonder how a flight thats supposed to take a l’il over an hour took almost three to get you to your destination….frikkin’ air-traffic!

but its nice to be home…wouldn’t even think it’d be a big deal, but then after a week and a half of incessant driving about in b’lore and chennai…it does feel nice…sigh. had read a news item a couple of years ago about how a car thief pulled a job on a swank sedan parked on a tokyo street at 7am only to be arrested 2 hours later in a traffic snarl 300 yards away…bangalore’s not like that…he’d be about 100 yards away here. and chennai…barrelling down the wrong way on busy streets because the auto-driver decided to save some time, cutting in front of buses that don’t look like they’re used to being treated like that and millimeter precision so you’re vehicle is exactly two coats of paint away from the belching exhaust of a truck…quite an art i think. serves me right for skipping the car on offer thinking it’d be quicker this way. am starting to have more and more respect for b’bay’s traffic!

oh yeah…and happy b’day to me

p.s: the title is actually three doors down…cool song too…

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  1. HaPPy BiRtH DaY ….Dude

  2. Happy Bday!

  3. i think i probably gave you the worst birthday present ever. am sorry about that..but really..what a way to get noticed eh? 🙂

  4. thanks anon!thanks dawn!sb..koi baat nahi yaar…i can still be won over with maserattis

  5. thats why i always carry a perfumed handkerchief on planes.what did u do for budday? you oldie.

  6. n: perfumed handkerchieves? i think i’ll pass on those…and who u calling oldie?! had a b’day thing at work…called work!

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